better late than never

today i saw an episode of one tree hill and it involved a flashback of payton and julius dating. julius saw that payton was reading her ex luca's book all the time. something kept her with him. julius saw this and ended it as soon as he saw the book in her bag when they were about to leave for vacation.

this is similar to my situation... thing is julius saw this first before i did. i saw it after things have ended, he ended it because he saw it. so many people have told me it wasnt fair for me but no one was willing to tell me at the time. i had to figure it out myself. im done, im doing this for myself...

well whenever u read this... ull understand some things..

if ur upset at me, thats fine. we dont txt each other or talk anymore cause i dont want to bug. thats my choice. i dont want to bug and i dont want to hurt anymore. we both said we needed to restart and grow together but i felt like i couldnt cause of him. i cant cause he's in the picture. i just couldnt do it... hurt too much and i guess i got too comfortable with the thought that we'd grow together all the time but that was me being naive.

i dont know ur reasons but it was ur choice not to contact me either. i hope u can be happy with him. im sure u can/will/are

the more i see shit.. the more i think about it... it pisses me off.

ya i like the girl whos her ading... how do u think i feel that ur dating a childhood friend. seriously?? and u know how i feel cause u went back to him... wtf?! it hurts knowing the person u love went to someone who u were friends with but now u just cant feel the same with them. now u know how i feel.

friends will support u no matter what. but better friends will tell u what u need to hear. they will tell u u deserve better... theyll give u advice, be there... tell u what they really think about the situation. the reason y the people u hang out with doesnt say shit about him is cause they're friends with him, close to him.

seriously... do what u want. it fuckin hurt seeing those pics in world of color and disneyland. fuck that. thats the one thing that reallly realllly got to me and i think im done. u do what u want and its for u if u want this back. but i dont know if i do anymore. u know what.. i dont think i do. ill find my someone, you've found urs. im lowkey happy for u but im hurting so bad cause of this.

this girl im with... i know she'll help me. she cares, she takes care of me. shes not u, but shes doing her best to make me feel special and show me the difference between u two.

i know ive fucked up...ive told u that. live ur life. its ur time. u enjoy and ill see/talk to u whenever, ill leave ur bday present at ur door cause i dont think i can see u anymore.

i think thats my last... i think this is my goodbye. God bless and take care of yourself. good luck to wherever u may go in ur career.

bye mon.