well whenever u read this... ull understand some things..

if ur upset at me, thats fine. we dont txt each other or talk anymore cause i dont want to bug. thats my choice. i dont want to bug and i dont want to hurt anymore. we both said we needed to restart and grow together but i felt like i couldnt cause of him. i cant cause he's in the picture. i just couldnt do it... hurt too much and i guess i got too comfortable with the thought that we'd grow together all the time but that was me being naive.

i dont know ur reasons but it was ur choice not to contact me either. i hope u can be happy with him. im sure u can/will/are

the more i see shit.. the more i think about it... it pisses me off.

ya i like the girl whos her ading... how do u think i feel that ur dating a childhood friend. seriously?? and u know how i feel cause u went back to him... wtf?! it hurts knowing the person u love went to someone who u were friends with but now u just cant feel the same with them. now u know how i feel.

friends will support u no matter what. but better friends will tell u what u need to hear. they will tell u u deserve better... theyll give u advice, be there... tell u what they really think about the situation. the reason y the people u hang out with doesnt say shit about him is cause they're friends with him, close to him.

seriously... do what u want. it fuckin hurt seeing those pics in world of color and disneyland. fuck that. thats the one thing that reallly realllly got to me and i think im done. u do what u want and its for u if u want this back. but i dont know if i do anymore. u know what.. i dont think i do. ill find my someone, you've found urs. im lowkey happy for u but im hurting so bad cause of this.

this girl im with... i know she'll help me. she cares, she takes care of me. shes not u, but shes doing her best to make me feel special and show me the difference between u two.

i know ive fucked up...ive told u that. live ur life. its ur time. u enjoy and ill see/talk to u whenever, ill leave ur bday present at ur door cause i dont think i can see u anymore.

i think thats my last... i think this is my goodbye. God bless and take care of yourself. good luck to wherever u may go in ur career.

bye mon.

2 cents

she just jumped back into my head... my mind. i feel so empty without her.. like i cant feel. i miss her kiss, her hug, holding her hand, her smooth skin, her nice legs, her hair.... ughh everything. i dont know how to come up to her. i dont know how to approach this situation. shes happier, i think shes happier... is she happier? she keeps coming back.. is this a sign? is this an obstacle to get over for something better? good things must fall apart so better things can fall together. these pics all over the house, so many things remind me of her but i cant seem to put them away... its... its like my only pieces left of her in my life since i dropped her out of it. i cant stop to think if shes still in love... i dont want to assume so ill leave it at that. well.... maybe a shower will help... but then again, i get thoughts of her in there too -_-